On Reflection

Our reviewer at the time was apparently high on Jesus… which would explain why he’s given this brain tumour a five. With even more duel-stick shooters on the scene trying desperately to be Geometry Wars, this turd looks even more lame.

The Score

We’re so incensed with yet another Xbox Live Arcade using Robotron-styled controls that we’re approaching this review as an African American Minister.

X360 – And lo, the mighty Microsoft created Xbox Live Arcade and Lord, it was good.

Congregation – Praise the Lord.

X360 – The great Gates, he decreed that his new download service would feature arcade classics of yesteryear and new, original content and everyone rejoiced.

Congregation – Praise the Gates.

X360 – Hits arrived in the shape of Smash TV. Geometry Wars and the mighty Robotron: 2084. Can I hear y’all make some noise for the mighty Robotron?

Congregation: Praise Robotron.

X360- The Lord can’t here you.

Congregation – PRAISE ROBOTRON!

X360 – But listen all. Where the good lord steps, the devil is never too far away and complacency began to creep into the excellent service.

Congregation – Say what?

X360 – I said complacency arrived, black as pitch that saw developers releasing countless clones with the same simplistic controls and tempting us with earned achievements if we bought the full game.

Congregation – ‘A loud gasp arises’

X360 – And now PopCap Games have released yet another one of these boring shooters. Yes, it’s all dressed up in pretty hi-res graphics, but we can spot its simplistic and monotonous gameplay from a mile off. Can’t we my brothers and sisters.

Congregation – Yes. Hallelujah.

X360 – So brothers and sisters, vote with your points and say no to this evil that’s invading our beloved service. Can I hear you say no?

Congregation – No!!!

5 out of 10