On Reflection

The only emotions we’ve been feeling for this title are those that prevent us from ever choosing to play it again. The antithesis of fine wine, this already bad game has aged more like a bin bag full of cauliflower cheese.

The Score

Imagine for a second, if you will, the Namco classic Pac-Man. Now take away its ghosts. Then remove most of the maze. It’s not very entertaining, is it? Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the world of Geon: Emotions. Taking on a psychedelic and ethereal tone to lure gamers into thinking substance exists where really there is none, this EU-backed effort is pointless and dull in equal measure.

As you may have already guessed, each round of Geon takes place as a one-versus-one confrontation, as two players – be they CPU-controlled or otherwise – fight to collect all ‘emotes’ (small yellow pills) from their face of the board. Once you’ve collected a fifth of those available, it’s off to your opponent’s goal to score one of the five points needed for victory. While a choice is offered between ‘emotions’ (aka coloured cubes), in reality this is just a way to distinguish between the various special attacks you can employ. Knocking emotes from your adversary back onto the play area, creating traps for them to fall through and then escape from – it’s pretty standard stuff, and not inconsiderably random either.

Online play with close friends may settle grudges, but matches against the world’s conveyor belt of gaming talent prove just about the most characterless experience we’ve had this generation, as you both plod along barely interacting with each other. In place of a conclusion, here’s a list of things that this is less interesting than: rubber gloves, garden peas, Spam and watching paint dry (of course).

3 out of 10