Let’s explode a few myths. Firstly, vampires aren’t cool. Whatever success Buffy The Vampire Slayer enjoyed was down to the wit of Joss Whedon’s writing. Secondly, imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery. If you’re The Bootleg Beatles and spend every waking moment perfecting the act of the Fab Four then yes, have a gold star for effort, but that particular adage has done far more harm than good. Rather, it’s a one-stop motto for anyone with the requisite lack of motivation or talent who’d rather steal than create.

This might seem a little harsh, but when a developer with a reputation like Artoon comes up with such a shamelessly derivative game, you need a way to work through your confusion. Basically, Vampire Rain feels like some graphics unceremoniously draped over a concept. It is unflinchingly sub-standard on most levels and downright poor on the rest.

From the rear your Black Ops Elimination Squad agent might as well be Sam Fisher, and those elements that so readily recall Splinter Cell or Metal Gear place the game in unflattering company, clearly highlighting all the ways in which it is crude and deficient. The pace of the opening four levels is also agonisingly slow. Your tentative encounters with the Nightstalkers leave you little option but to creep in the darkness – the vampires are ridiculously overpowered and it is four levels before you come across any weapon that gives you a chance. Once this chance to stand and fight is introduced things become more interesting, but by that time you’re likely to be past the point of no return.

A game so firmly rooted in horror could survive with a heady enough atmosphere, but the sparse thrills that Vampire Rain does manage are diluted by the placid ambience of the environments. For all the mood they manage to conjure, the dark alleyways and vacant storefronts might as well be cardboard sets.

To list more faults would be sadism; all you need to know is that Vampire Rain owes all of its finest points to games that you’ve already played. Even on the Xbox it would have been considered enormously disappointing, and for a second-generation Xbox 360 title, that is truly horrific.

Matt Handrahan