We’re not usually in the business of laying the smack down on individual developers, but here, with Treyarch, we’ve found ourselves an interesting and mysterious case. Despite having already set in motion the downhill slide of some of Activision’s key franchises with the likes of Call Of Duty 3 and previous Spider-Man efforts, the California-based developer is, for some reason, still being entrusted with the continuations of these series. So if this is any indication of what to expect over the next few years, perhaps its time we crawled back into hibernation.

While Spider-Man 3 may not be an absolutely disastrous game, it’s pretty hard to find anything nice to say about it. From the initial combat tutorial to the battle with Venom at the game’s close, the fighting never really gets any better despite the wealth of new moves and abilities that are unlocked as you clean up the streets of petty criminals. Sure, there are a good few impressive moves that you’ll likely abuse, and your best bet is to stay airborne while spamming air grabs and aerial assaults to avoid most damage altogether. And when that doesn’t work, thank God for Spidey’s reflexes. Icons flash up above enemies just as they’re about to attack, and by holding the Left Bumper you can go into slow motion to dodge the blow and retaliate with a powerful and unblockable counter. This technique alone is enough to get you through the majority of the game, especially when enemies that block or evade your basic attack strings start to become much more commonplace.

Perhaps the worst part of the whole adventure is the reliance on dated and derivative structures for so many of the crucial missions. Aside from the fact that you’ll see the Mission Failed screen more times than you’ll ever deserve, there’s just nothing on show here that hasn’t been done much better elsewhere. Photography missions pale next to Dead Rising’s shutter work, bomb defusal tasks are robbed straight from PSP frustrate-’em-up Smart Bomb, while the worst offence is arguably the overly liberal application of Quick Time Events or ‘cineractives’ as they have been hatefully dubbed. As we’ve seen in Resident Evil 4 and God Of War, clever use of these button sequences in crucial situations can keep you on the edge of your seat and really help build tension. Here, though, where even basic tasks such as running away from things or swinging through tunnels get the reactionary button-press treatment, even the biggest set pieces feel drab and tired. There’s also zero continuity between them, sometimes allowing an instant restart following failure, while at other times resulting in instant death. And based on just how quickly you’re expected to input these strings later in the game, the only thing you can do is to fail several times and memorise the entire sequence, completely missing the point of the element altogether. Way to go, guys.

Even swinging your way around New York – while entertaining enough in moderation – is nowhere near as good as it could be, with Spidey electing to fire web lines into thin air rather than shoot a line down onto a building below to continue his swing. It’s a suitably speedy way of getting around and once you get a feel for it, firing yourself down alleyways or through obstacles at breakneck pace can be pretty satisfying. The main problem is that the city itself just isn’t fun to explore, meaning that swinging is nothing more than a way of getting from A to B. Unless you find collecting tokens that are hidden away in the most remote corners of the urban jungle enjoyable, there’s little to do bar trawl the streets for the odd disturbance on your way to the next story mission. Even the extra events the game spits out en masse are at best a mild distraction; rather than fighting crime, skydiving challenges and tiresome races are the order of the day here and the only thing that would ever make you want to finish all of these is the dangled carrot of a few extra GamerPoints.

Even that isn’t going to be much of a draw, though, with many of the Achievements being tucked away and reserved for those few players that can be bothered to round up 30 pointless tokens from around New York (several times over, in fact) or compete in every one of the increasingly weak events. On the plus side, you get to play as Spidey and swing about a massive and suitably busy New York City to your heart’s content. Everything else, from the misshapen and frankly terrifying appearance of New York’s citizens (where even ‘recognisable’ faces look like lookalikes in a carnival Hall of Mirrors) to the uninteresting missions and underwhelming boss battles, conspires against Treyarch and Activision. As a result, unless you think dropping 50 notes on the ability to ‘be’ Spidey for a bit is a bargain, this can be considered pretty damn far from acceptable, let alone super.

Luke Albigés