That makes us sound like we hate Pirates Of The Caribbean. We don’t. Pirates walks that fine line between triumph and tragedy without ever looking like it’s going to fall on either side of the divide; the sign of a game that’s been made with care but without ambition. The graphics, for example. Orlando Bloom and co. look highly detailed but they also look like strungout zombies. The voice acting. You can tell it’s more Donny Jepp than Johnny Depp, but the voice acting isn’t bad, it’s just an out-of-work cockney giving it his best shot. The gameplay sees you duelling and taking part in intricate sword fights with counter-attacks and special moves, but you can use the same combo throughout the whole game and use the compass point to find your way to the end credits without any hassle. It’s the same game in the last level as it is in the first, just with different settings. In the entire history of videogames, there has never been a game as average as At World’s End. Ever.

It’s good. It’s bad. It’s passable. It’s intolerable. It’s fun. It’s frustrating. It’s all of those things and more. It’s a completely confusing mess of a game that bounces around from joyful to joyless with no in-between whatsoever. What more can be said? You know what to expect. It’s Pirates Of The Caribbean and it’s average. That’s all you need to know.

Ryan King