Nothing is different. Nothing. Surely this is wrong. It has to be wrong, somehow. Maybe this isn’t the right game… yet according to the box, according to the disc and according to the title screen, this is NHL 2K7. Perhaps the gameplay has changed? No, that hasn’t changed either. How very odd. So what is different about NHL 2K7?

Here’s the quick answer for the impatient: nothing. Hurray for sequels! For the sake of completion, let’s play spot the difference between this and NHL 2K6. New is Cinemotion, a wonky term given due to the fact that dramatic music plays throughout rather than the usual Canadians commentating ‘aboot’ what’s happening on the rink. Violins swell as you breakaway for a one-onone attempt, dramatic drums kick in when the opposition attacks… it’s a truly alien concept to sports games and NHL 2K7 proves why. While Cinemotion is a cute idea, it just doesn’t work. Imagine playing ice hockey with the Star Wars soundtrack chiming away in the background, Darth Vader’s theme tune kicking in seconds after you smash an opposition player over the boards and you have something of an approximation. At least the Star Wars soundtrack would be funnier. The fact that you soon find yourself turning the Canadian commentary back on after half-an-hour says it all, really.

And that’s the big difference – a couple of violins. There’s a new Rivalry aspect to the Franchise mode but it’s far too lightweight and irrelevant to make any sort of impact on you. NHL 2K7 will occasionally shout nonsense at you to try and justify this Rivalry feature as the greatest thing to hit sports games since EA Trax. “Detroit are playing Chicago, their long-time rivals throughout history!” it screams, barely able to contain its excitement at this match-up and stopping short of wetting itself. Meanwhile, you stare at the screen in zombified confusion, wondering what the hell is going on. Then the Star Wars music kicks in again, because it clearly wasn’t exciting enough without it.

The online mode has been fattened with more options and modes but offline has been left untouched – 2K Sports didn’t even deem it worth streamlining the horrendous menus from last year, so that hasn’t changed either. Franchise mode is back, Skybox mode is back, everything is back but nothing new has been added. If we were being generous, there’s a new scouting mini-game in Franchise mode. If we were being rude, the ‘sim scouting’ button is infinitely more useful and doesn’t waste nearly as much time. Oh, the occasional slowdown is new as well. We don’t remember that in last year’s version. That’s your lot, folks: rivalries that don’t make a difference, online modes that don’t matter if you don’t have broadband and a Star Wars soundtrack. See? Nothing is different.

This also means that the complicated controls from last year are back. The ice hockey itself is standard no-frills fare. You pass, you shoot, you check, you skate. A few fancy details help the NHL 2K7 cause though, such as helmets that get knocked off players and bounce around the rink until play stops. All the rosters are bang up to date too, so you have the likes of Dominik Hasek at Detroit. So far, so usual. A competent hockey game. Big deal. Unfortunately, where the more complicated manoeuvres should push NHL 2K7 into greater heights, they just push your fingers into painful knots. Consider this. To call for extra pressure on an attacker in Pro Evolution Soccer, you hold down one button. To do the same thing in NHL 2K7, you have to select the attacker by pointing towards him with the right analogue stick, confirm your selection by clicking in the right analogue stick, then hold down the right bumper button too. Jesus. It’s not so much rubbing your stomach while patting your head as it is someone punching your stomach while pulling your hair.

When the same cheap goals from last year have also made it into this year’s version, you know something has gone wrong. Hell, if X360’s review of NHL 2K6 was copied and pasted onto these pages, no one would bat an eyelid. It probably would have been a better review too, because it would have been representative of the overall effort gone into this supposed sequel. EA had last year off, but given its coming back with a vengeance with NHL 07 this time round, in our opinion 2K Sports could have found a much better time to start resting on its laurels. Or maybe 2K Sports could have even embellished its successor with genuine advancements, an overhauled season mode and one or two actual improvements. Now there’s a thought, eh?

Ryan King