Oops. It’s always been presumed that the general idea behind film-licence games is that while they’re not very good, they’re saved by the fact that the film is released in cinemas around the same time; thus the film tie-in rides to the top of the charts on the back of the film’s hype and marketing. Cars The Xbox 360 Game, however, crawls onto shelves some six months after Cars The Disappointing Pixar Movie came and flopped at cinemas. Someone at THQ needs a calendar.

“It’s coming out for the DVD release!” THQ cries. “But it still sucks!” we cry back. It would be fair enough if Cars turned in a stunning performance where those extra six months of development have finetuned the gameplay. It doesn’t. Cars is every bit as depressingly average as you’d expect from a film tie-in. So to cut the crap – yes, Cars is a kid’s game, no, it’s not particularly good and yes, the Achievements are easy. You take part in races, work your way through the cut-scenes, take part in more races, work your way through more cut-scenes. Sometimes you hunt postcards, sometimes you tip tractors, mostly falling asleep.

There’s nothing massively offensive or frustrating about Cars, more that it’s quite content to coast along on autopilot. It’s tied together with some mini-games and there’s a free-roaming structure to find your next race, which is cute enough. It’s nice and breezy, it’s cheap and cheerful, it’s not really the sort of powerhouse skilldrenched game to stop you or your Xbox 360 from stifling a yawn.

What it comes down to is this. Are you old enough to cook your own chips? If the answer is yes, then you might want to consider heading to page 78. There’s a Lost Planet review there. If the answer is no, you’ve probably already had to thank mum and dad through gritted teeth for the ‘wonderful’ Christmas present you received. Still, look on the bright side, at least talk of the film won’t ruin the storyline for you...

Ryan King