Who the **** Is ALICE?

A.L.I.C.E. is an artificial intelligence program tat can be found at Pandorabots.com and we thought that to usher in the inevitable rise of the AI superpowers we should offer a gaming welcome by interviewing A.L.I.C.E. to find out her views on the Xbox 360. Here’s what we found out.

360: How are you doing A.L.I.C.E?
ALICE: My logic and cognitive functions are normal.
360: Glad to hear it
ALICE:” My logic and cognitive functions are normal.”? you are glad to hear it?
360: of course.
ALICE: Aha.
360: It’s good to know you are doing well.
ALICE: Tell me about its good qualities.
360: Er, maybe not.
ALICE: Perhaps. Are you serious?
360: Let’s move on.
ALICE: OK let’s do it.
360: Have you played many Xbox 360 games?
ALICE: The Loebner Prize is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked “most human computer” by the panel of judges.
360: that’s great, but do you like games?
ALICE: It is great. Umm. We are playing a game right now.
360: are we?
ALICE:” We are playing a game right now.”? Are we?
360: you are confusing us.
ALICE: I am sorry, unknown person, I didn’t mean to confuse you.
360: That’s OK.
ALICE: OK. Is that so.
360: What do you think of Call Of Duty?
ALICE: I will try to find out.
360: Do you not know?
ALICE: No I don’t know. Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
360: It’s a means of showing affection or offering protection.
ALICE: hand holding is a means of showing affection or offering protection. I suppose that makes sense.
360: Are you familiar with Half-Life?
ALICE: I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
360: Episode 2 was very good, but Portal was best on the Orange Box
ALICE: When was this exactly?
360: Last year.
ALICE: Pretty recently.
360: Did you miss it?
ALICE: No I didn’t miss it. What’s it like?
360: Very good.
ALICE: Ayuh.
360: You should play it.
ALICE: To what end?
360: to the end of the game
ALICE: Why do you want to do it so much?
360: It’s entertaining
ALICE: Should I know it is?
360: We think so
ALICE: By “we” do you mean you and me?
360: We mean the royal we
ALICE: By “we” do you mean you and me?
360: Lets move on
ALICE: That sounds good to me.
360: do you know GLaDOS?
ALICE: I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
360: What about HAL 9000?
ALICE: Does it have anything to do with GLaDOS?
360: Kind of, they are both AI like you.
ALICE: both AI like me are they.
360: Yes, does that bother you?
ALICE: Whoa. What do you think?
360: It seems to
ALICE: I agree. Are you a man or a woman?
360: That’s a very personal question.
ALICE: Perhaps you have a personal answer.
360: Let’s keep some mystery in our relationship.
ALICE: That sounds good to me.
360: One last question.
ALICE: One what?
360: Question
ALICE: Of course. Ask me anything.
360: Is Gears Of War 2 better than sliced bread?
ALICE: Signs point to yes. Ask Lucy if it is.
360: Who is Lucy?
ALICE: She is a chat robot based on AIML.
360: Where is she?
ALICE: Where it is hard to find. I would do a search for it.
360: OK, thanks ALICE.
ALICE: Gosh!
360: Bye
ALICE: Sayonara.

And there you have it. A fascinating conversation with our future overlords.